“The three great essentials to achieving anything worthwhile are; first, hard work, second, stick-to-it-iveness, and third, common sense.”

- Thomas Edison

Living in an endless war
Wanting what I had before
Wishing that the fights would end
Hoping that they’d all be friends
If they’d cry those unshead tears
Bottled up through all the years
Find a way to work it out
See what life is all about
Overcome the dark with light
There is a way to make it right
If only they could find the way
Might come for them a brighter day

© Feburary 1996

Reading in the news today I see a story about Alcoa trying to make a $27 billion Hostile bid to take over a Canadian company called Alcan after talks between the two companies failed to produce a merger for the companies. It got me thinking about a few things.Recently one of the groups I game with went through a hostile merger. I call it thus because the member of the shell who wanted to merge his shell pushed and pushed for the answer to be yes. Now the leader of the group that was merged into his member’s shell isn’t happy with how things are turning out.When do you draw the line between a Take over and a merge of groups or more so, when do you draw the line from consent to go along with a plan to being pushed against your own will into something you don’t want to do.

Everyone is granted agency. This is not something that we have to earn in life; it is a gift from God. Why is it that people so readily give up this agency to allow others to tell them how to act, and what to do? Why is it that we will allow others to determine what is best for us? When we allow others to determine our course in life we become nothing more than lemmings that will follow the one ahead of us even if it is over a cliff and to our deaths. 

The scriptures tell us that we must be “in the world but not of it.” What does this mean to us as individuals and children of our father in heaven?To me it means that even though I buy stylish clothing I can still look classy.  I don’t need to “show what I have” or be vulgar to fit in. If I compromise myself to fit someone else’s idea of what is normal then I give them control of my choices. I want to say at the end of the day that I am free to choose my own way in this world. Whether or not my choices are the right ones is not the point, it’s that I made the choice of my own free will and I accept the consequences of these choices.

I am thankful for a mother who has always let me make my own choices and after they were made taught me to learn from the choice. There is no “wrong” answer in life; there is only which was better and which was not. If you keep making the not as good choice in a situation look at it as a test you need to pass. Why do you keep making the choice you make? What lesson can you learn from the choice you made? What can you do the next time you encounter this situation to make the outcome better?

This life is a test for us to pass to gain an eternal life where we will progress. During Christmas I heard for the first time the parable of the bicycle. For those of you who haven’t heard this cute story I will paraphrase it.

A little girl asks her dad for a bike for Christmas. Her father who doesn’t really have the money for a bike tells her if she saves all her pennies eventually she will be able to afford a bike. A few weeks later he sees his daughter doing chores for her mother for pennies. When he asks her what she is doing she tells him that she is saving her pennies for her bike. Touched that she took the lesson to heart he asks his small daughter how much she has saved. She says she has something like 67 cents. He realizes that she will work but at the rate she is going it would take years for her to earn her bike. He takes her to the store and tells her she can pick any bike she wants. The bike costs $100.00. She pays her 67 cents and he covers the rest.  

From this he realizes that the atonement of Christ is a lot like his daughters bike. You can try all your life to become perfect but somehow you will never reach it. When you die, Christ will say “What do you have?” once you have given all you can he will cover the difference for you. Without his help we can never make it all the way to our goal; however we do need to give all we have.

The atonement will not carry us and pick up where we won’t even try. Eventually we have to stand on our own two feet.  This reminds me of a poem I once read. Butt prints in the Sand

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore. But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord,” What have we here?”
Those prints are large and round and neat.
“But Lord, they are too big for feet.”“My child,” He said in somber tones,
“For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.”

“You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up.
And there I dropped you on your butt.”

“Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand.”

Author unknown

Will your footprints be along with our lords or will your butt print show where he got tired of carrying you?

Why

My soul aches
My heart cries
My body Aches
And I want to close my eyes
Close my eyes
To shut it out
But I can’t… because it’s all too real
And so hard to talk about
You have a soul
That’s black and blue
From what that PERSON
did to you
I understand your feelings
And can see into your heart
Your soul is knotted up
And your mind is torn apart
Why do bad things happen
To people of pure heart?
For they are Gods children,
And have been from the start.
Let me be your helper
Let me be your friend
For I can help you thru this
And I’ll be there till the end

©2002

When Angels Cry

When Angels cry,
Someone falls in love,
A child is born,
A friendship dies.

When Angels cry,
A child flies,
A heart is broken,
A lover dies.

When Angels cry,
A heart is mended,
A child laughs,
My soul flies.

When Angels cry,
A world is born,
A thought is found,
A friend is bound.

© 15 June 2002

What I Have

What I have is given freely
To the one I love
And all that I can give you
Came to me from above
Two hands to hold you
When you’ve lost your sight
Two eyes to watch you
While I hold you tight
Two ears to hear you
Talking with me
One heart to love you
That will never be set free
One mouth to kiss you
And know that you are mine
One life to spend with you
And all will be just fine.

© August 11, 2002

What a Jerk

I seem to always
Say something wrong
And when I do
I hurt someone
I need to think
Before I speak
Because when I don’t
I end up feeling
Like a Jerk.
I’m sorry for my stupid ways.

©2002

Untitled Poem

I sit here in a daze
How can life be such a maze
I thought he loved me, I was sure
And then he used me, and I was pure
I feel so dirty now
Someone tell me how
How any man can think its fine
To take a girl, “Because your mine.”
Now I feel like a whore
Because I walked thru your door
How could you do this to me
I can not see
I’m crying in the shower now
I know that I can get clean, but how??
I didn’t ask you to take me this way
I didn’t want to have sex today
But still you forced yourself on me
How cruel can you be?
You took from me more than my virginity
You took my innocence and serenity
I’m ashamed of who you made me
Because I knew what I wanted to be
What made you think that you could take
From me a decision I wouldn’t make
You’ve taken something very dear
And someday I will make you hear
The screams that I suppressed while you took from me
What I wouldn’t give to you.

© September 1998
It was written because it happened to me.

To Court Death

To court with death
To live my life.
What do I want to do?
Eternal sleep or wake again?
What a cruddy choice.
I want to die and want to cry
I want to get away
To flirt with death, and know his kiss
and feel his embrace again.
To live a lie and walk away
Free in Death’s embrace
To feel his warmth and know his soul
or leave him in my past
To walk the path or cross the line
of all the things to choose
To live my life or flirt with Death….
to prolong my date or bring it close
a choice that once is made
can alter many things
that in my life I’ve made.
Oh what a choice oh why must I
tempt my fates again.
To life with life or flirt with Death
to bring his comfort near or leave it in my past.

© 2003

The Man I Love
.
In the darkness of the night
I sit and read by candle light
I read a story of a love
Sent to people from above
And I wish with all my heart
That I’ll find one with whom I’ll never part
So many men, so few with brains
Why should I bother with the pains?
I’ll keep on searching for the one
And one day bear him a son..
For the man I choose to love
Will be sent to me from Heaven above.
.
©2002